Recipe #2.

On Wednesday, I baked my second-ever batch of wheat bread. This recipe, provided by Melanie W., was SUPER easy. I think even an elementary schooler could handle it (or a caveman). From start to finish, it only took an hour. I got it done during Baby Guy's afternoon nap! It has very few ingredients, and it's unique in that is uses liquid lecithin instead of vegetable oil.

Mmm ... tasty.

It smelled heavenly while baking (I swear, someone needs to invent a scented candle that smells like freshly-baked bread). And then, it was super moist (sorry if that word offends you. Some people feel squicky inside when they hear it or read it), even the next day. Very easy to slice, too.

It's only drawback was the flavor. The texture was great, but it lacked a little bit in savor and sweetness. Still, it is such an easy, convenient bread recipe -- who doesn't love a recipe that can be cranked out in 60 minutes? Plus, the dough is so versatile, it can be used for pizza crust, rolls, braids, tortillas ... the list is endless.

Melanie W.'s Hour Wheat Bread
(makes 4 loaves -- half it if you are using a KitchenAid mixer)

10 1/2 C whole wheat flour (you can also use part white flour for less density)
1/2 C sugar
1 TBS salt
3 rounded TBS instant yeast
3 TBS liquid lecithin (you can find this at any health food store and it's shelf-stable)
4 C hot tap water

Mix dry ingredients. Add lecithin** and water. Mix for 1 minute and check consistency. If dough is too dry, add more water. If dough is too moist, add more flour. Mix for 5 minutes. (Do not add water or flour to the dough after it has finished mixing.) Spray counter and pans with Pam. Shape loaves and cover with a dish towel. Let raise 25 minutes or until dough reaches the tops of the pans.

Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes, or until golden brown.

** Squeeze or pour approximately 3 tablespoons of lecithin directly into a well in the dry mixture. Do not measure. It's super sticky and will ruin anything it gets on.

Use 1/4 of the recipe for pizza dough. Do not raise 25 minutes.

So easy, even a cavewoman can do it.

Remember those creepy-scary GEICO commercials with the cavemen? I don't really watch television anymore, so I'm out of the loop and have no idea if they even run them anymore.

This is what I am referring to here.

The stuff nightmares are made of.

Even though the commercials give me the willies, I can appreciate the tagline: "So easy, even a caveman can do it." I sometimes quote it when I've done something easy, like make this:

Truly, it was easy-peasy. Even a little annoying, if I'm being honest. I mean, how hard is it to wind yarn around a wreath a million times? Not hard. But definitely repetitive.

Tutorial: HERE. Make your own. And if you are smart (read: cheap) like me, you'll buy a shrink-wrapped straw wreath instead of a foam wreath. Straw is about 1/3 the price of foam. Why? Life's big questions ...

As for the bread contest, it's officially closed. I got seven or eight recipes, so I'm going to be busy over the next few weeks. I've decided to make two of them each week until I'm done. I've made one already, and it was a hit! At this rate, I think I'll be done by Smush's first birthday. And if I'm not, maybe I'll make the last one as a Birthday Loaf and stick a candle in it.

Also, if you're wondering about the progress of my hair, well, here it is today:

Bubs makes an appearance!

I've gotten to the flippy-out stage. Don't know how I feel about it yet. My cute neighbor told me it reminded her of Meg Ryan, which I'll take as a compliment.

I was thinking Sue Sylvester.

Heaven help me ...

10 months and a loaf o' bread (or two).

First item of business: It's the Smush's 10-month birthday! Can you believe it? Here he is.

Can you guess who he was staring at with rapt attention?

He's really growing. He still has eight teeth and can (and will) eat just about anything. I am not that strict about feeding babies "human food". The Smush has indulged in chicken pesto penne, Teddy Grahams, whole blueberries, raw broccoli, pumpkin ice cream and Goldfish in the past week alone. He's a good chewer so I don't worry about choking. It's nice not to have to mash everything before feeding it to him.

In other news, he's totally saying "Mama" now. All. The. Time. Especially when he wants to nurse. And that activity is slowly declining these days. We're down to four feedings a day and I'll be honest -- I'm glad. I'm ready to move out of this season of life. Problem is, I don't know if The Smush is ready. He loves nursing more than life itself, I think. He'd die for boobs.

So. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

My second item of business: I made my first loaves of wheat bread yesterday! Photographic evidence:

Mmm ... carbs ...

These beauties were the first entry in my whole wheat bread recipe contest. If you still want to submit an entry, do it by tonight at 10:00 p.m. MST! Winner gets a $10 Sprouts or Target gift card.

The recipe, from Elizabeth, was awesome in that it was 1) super easy and 2) super yummy! Moist and dense enough to be cut into thin slices, yet not too heavy. Plus, it had an amazing flavor.

Here it is. I halved it and made two loaves. Very easy to convert.

Liz's 100% Whole Wheat Bread

(4 Loaves)

Add:

5 to 5 ½ c. hot tap water

2/3 c. oil

2/3 c. honey (or 1/3 molasses + 1/3 honey) or ½ cup granulated sugar

1 TBS salt

Run machine for 30 seconds on speed 1.

Add: 5 cups of flour

Run machine until batter is smooth. Use speed 1.

Add: 3 T. Saf instant yeast and 2 more cups flour

Run machine on speed 1 and continue adding 1 cup of flour at a time until the sides of the bowl are free from batter. The total flour used in the batter should be 12 to 13 cups.

Add: 1 to 1 ½ cups additional flour [there should be no more than a total of 13 to14 cups of flour used in this recipe]. Place the lid on the bowl. Turn machine on to Speed 3. Knead the batter with the machine for 4 to 6 minutes. Usually, 5½ minutes is just right. Stop the machine. Oil your hands and shape the loaves (do not use flour). Rise in the oven at 150 degrees until loaves are at top of pan. This takes about 15-20 minutes. Turn oven to 350E and bake for 25 to 30 minutes. Baking time will depend on size of loaves as well as the oven features.

Some tips:

Measure oil in measuring cup first, then honey. The honey will slide out easier.

Pour /spread a couple tablespoons of oil on the counter and turn dough out onto oiled countertop. The recipe needs the extra amount of oil, and oil works a lot better than flour in keeping the dough from sticking to your hands and the countertop.

If you can't get your oven to 150 degrees, turn it as low as it can go (mine goes to 170) and watch the loaves. Turn the heat up when the dough reaches the top of the pan.

Wheat Bread contest update

I've gotten quite a few entries already and I'm excited to start trying them! Looks like I'm going to put my wheat grinder and Kitchenaid to good use in the next few weeks.

Since I've had such a good response, I've decided to close the contest at 10:00 pm (MST) on Monday, January 24th. Anything sent to my inbox after that point will be disqualified.

In the meantime, send your best whole wheat bread recipe to momtheintern at gmail dot com. The recipe must use whole wheat and cannot require a breadmaker. Also, you must have tried the recipe at least once before.

Winner gets a $10 gift card to Sprouts Farmers Market or Target. Your choice!

Ahhh ... I can practically smell the fresh bread already!

CONTEST: Whole Wheat Bread Recipes

I went grocery shopping yesterday. And guess what? I didn't buy any bread. I have a loaf in my freezer and a nearly complete loaf in the pantry, but from here on out, I plan to make my own bread instead of buying it from the store.

Dill's parents got us an awesome manual wheat grinder and some loaf pans for Christmas. I specifically asked for the wheat grinder because I have a ton of wheat sitting out in my garage, practically begging to be turned into flour and then baked into delicious loaves of bread.

I know, you're thinking, Who asks for a wheat grinder for Christmas?! A health-conscious Mormon mom, that's who! Most homemade breads have a handful of simple ingredients. Have you looked at the ingredients list on a loaf of store-bought bread? It's crazy! It often contains high fructose corn syrup and a whole bunch of other unpronounceable additives to make it sweet, spongy and long-lasting. And it's expensive -- you'll spend well over $3 for a loaf of the most natural bread.

Not to mention, have you ever smelled the aroma of homemade bread wafting through the air? HEAVEN. That's reason enough to make your own.

I'm excited to put this wheat grinder to use and make some delicious bread. But, there's a problem: I have no idea where to start! I've never made bread. Ok, I've made cinnamon rolls and bread-like products, but I've never made a loaf of actual bread before. You know, the kind you slice up and slather peanut butter all over. Never done it.

So, this is where you guys come in. I want you to send your best whole wheat bread recipes to momtheintern at gmail dot com. If you have one on your personal blog, feel free to send me a link, too. I am going to try them all and then Dill, Bubs and I will decide which one we like best. And by best, I mean it is both delicious and relatively easy to make.

Winner gets a $10 gift card to Sprouts Farmers Market or Target, your choice. Sprouts is my favorite farmers market-type store because their produce is local, very fresh and oh-so-cheap! They also sell lots of gluten-free, lactose-free, all-natural and vegetarian items. You can get a TON of good stuff for $10. And Target ... who doesn't love Target?

Here are the contest rules:

1. The bread recipe must primarily use whole wheat flour. It can also include white flour or lesser-known kinds (like maybe rye flour), but I want the majority of it to use wheat flour. No white recipes, please.

2. It cannot require a bread machine. Sorry, I don't own one of those. Just an oven and some loaf pans.

3. It does NOT have to be original, meaning it doesn't have to be your own invention. It can be a long-time family recipe, one you got from a friend or one you've used and loved for ages. But please, don't just pull one off of Allrecipes.com unless you've tried it for yourself and can personally testify of its goodness. I mean, anyone can Google for bread recipes, right?

Since I've never done a contest before and I don't know how many people (if any) are going to enter, I'm just going to leave the contest open for a while. No deadline just yet. I'll be sure to let you know when one is coming up.

Let's see what you've got!

Wedding do-over.

Confession: I love looking at wedding pictures. If you have some on your Facebook page and I'm your friend, I guarantee I've looked at all of yours (does that creep you out?). And I'm about to sound old right now, but I especially love the new vintage trend going on. Off-white dresses, unique hairpieces, romantic hairstyles, retro-inspired photography ... sometimes, it makes me wish I'd gotten married a few years later than I did. Or ... that I was a few years younger. In other words, I wish I had been able to cash in on this trend for my wedding because it is simple, natural and beautiful.

So sometimes, I look at people's gorgeous wedding pictures and I get a little jealous. Don't get me wrong; I love my wedding photographs. I have several framed throughout my home. Our photographer was (is)amazingly talented and produced fine work. It's just, my tastes have changed in the last five years and this style makes me drool hard core. LOVE.

(More examples here and here)

Basically, I kind of want a wedding do-over. Same groom of course (don't worry, Dill). Same place (love the Mesa Temple). Just ... a different style. Different dress, different colors, different decor.

(end dream sequence)

But really, that's a stupid idea. We can't just get married again. I mean, I know some people renew their vows and that's cool and all, but let's get real -- I have two kids. And we've been married for five years. It was a special day frozen in time, never to be replicated. And at the time, it was my dream wedding.

I think I'm better suited for family pictures and romantic "love shoots" for now.

Just for funsies, I've been playing with my wedding pictures to see if I can create this vintage style. Don't worry -- I've saved the originals.

Before:

After:

Fun, huh?

What do you think of current wedding trends? Do you love vintage, modern, classic, simple, elegant ... what was your own wedding like? Do you sometimes wish for a do-over, too?

Evolution of my hair.

So, I'm growing my hair out. (GASP!) I know, shocking. Or, at least, I'm trying to grow my hair out. Yes, I still adore my short hair. I'm not even sure if I'm going to keep this up or just hack it off all over again. But for now, I'm growing my hair out.

And oh, what an enormous pain in the butt that process is.

I used to have really long hair. I was kind of notorious for it in high school. Jenna, the one with insanely long, thick, blond hair. Behold, my senior picture:

2004

I know, right? So pretty. But so difficult to style. See, I have naturally wavy hair (like this):

Yep, it's real.

So about half-way through my pregnancy with Bubby, I got sick of fixing it. I got sick of ponytails. And therefore, I had it cut.

June 2007

And then, after Bubby came, I had it cut again AND had the stylist add some highlights. First time I'd ever had it colored. I lost my hair virginity. It was so weird to see myself as a light blond again. I felt like my 13-year-old self.

November 2007

About five months later, I decided I wanted to be a weather anchor for the BYU Daily News. I had it chopped into a nice, camera-friendly A-line cut and kept the highlights.

April 2008

That was a stinking cute haircut, but my goodness, 'twas a pain to fix.

After that, I kind of just let it grow. It quickly became formless and I began resorting to elastic bands again. I felt pretty frumpy. I read that no-poo would make it more manageable, so I tried it:

May 2009

But it kind of made my hair worse.

By this point, I was entirely ready for something new. Something drastic. I had just graduated from college. I'd long since returned to my pre-baby shape. I felt confident and fresh. I'd always wanted to do it but hadn't had the guts. Now, things were different. I was a grown-up; I was ready. So:

June 2009, the day I became Tinker Bell.

I got a pixie cut and more highlights. It felt crazy, fun and awesome all at once. I felt a little dangerous. I'd lived my whole life with long-ish hair and never dreamed I'd have the gumption to cut it this short. Once I took the plunge, I truly felt liberated.

I kept up the pixie cut for a year, even through my second pregnancy.

November 2009, pregnant with Smush

And then, after the baby came, I got crazy. Too crazy. I decided I wanted a faux-hawk.

June 2010

At first, I loved it. It was funky and cool. But I quickly started to get sick of it. And I felt like it wasn't quite me. It was too dangerous. I felt uncomfortable with myself. So, I let the top grow back out.

And that's where we are now:

January 2011

So, what's next? I've toyed with the idea of going PLATINUM BLONDE but keeping it pixie-length:

Growing it out to a short A-line bob:

Or, letting it grow and grow until I achieve this:

Which we all know is entirely impossible with two children.

One thing's for sure: I'm keeping bangs. People with fiveheads like mine need them.

What do you think?

Eleven-step program.

My mom sent me this in an e-mail and I actually laughed so hard, I cried. Like, actual tears were streaming down my face. I did not write this and I don't know who did, so I hope the Copyright Police don't show up on my doorstep anytime soon.

Here it is.

Thinking of Having Kids? Do This 11-Step Program First!

Lesson 1:

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2:

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3:

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4:

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5:

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6:

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7:

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8:

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9:

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10:

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11:

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

How to go "No-Poo."

So, it's a new year. (Happy 2011, everyone!) And as such, a lot of folks are sitting down to write some resolutions.

Here's the thing -- I don't like resolutions in the traditional sense. Most of the time, they are way too vague, unattainable and they just cause unnecessary frustration and woe.

If you're going to make a resolution (or more than one, if you're super-ambitious), make a specific goal with an end in sight.

Maybe you want to go no-poo, but you just haven't gathered up the courage to start. Remember when I stopped using shampoo? Well, I'm here to update you on my progress. Since then (May 2009), I have not purchased any shampoo, nor have I bought any conditioner with silicones. I wash my hair sparingly -- every 2 - 3 days tops -- and I use 'cone-free Suave Naturals conditioner only. Occasionally (we're talking once every few months), I do a baking soda wash followed by a vinegar rinse just to remove anything the Suave might have left behind. The baking soda cleans the hair really well and the vinegar seals it off and makes it shiny and soft.

I do allow my hairstylist to use shampoo when she cuts my hair (gasp!), but I only get 4 - 5 haircuts a year so I still consider myself a bonafide no-pooer.

And let me just say, I LOVE being a no-pooer. I used to spend so much on fancy-schmancy shampoos and conditioners, and yet my head was still dry and my hair unmanageable. Now? I spend about $1.00 a month on my hair. It feels great, looks great, and styles well. And I get compliments on it all the time.

I know, you're probably thinking, She's one of those tree-hugging granola freaks! She probably stinks to high heaven! But don't un-follow me yet. Here's the proof that I'm not greasy, icky, smelly or weird.

I'm a real girl!

And I promise, my hair does NOT STINK. Actually, it smells just like coconut, since that's the Suave scent I currently favor.

So, are you ready to go no-poo? Anyone can! It's easy! And not weird at all! And lucky for you, I've laid out the steps nicely in eHow article, here:

How to Implement a Shampoo-Free Hair Regimen

Does pretty, inexpensive, earth-conscious, poo-free hair sound like a good goal for 2011? Then, what are you waiting for? Chuck out the shampoo and jump on the no-poo bandwagon TODAY!

And if you have additional questions about going no-poo, check out this post by my hairstylist friend, Kate. She's a rockstar.