TMI?

I don't know what else to title this post. But fellow mamas of the world ... we've gotta talk.

When I was pregnant with Bubby, I had this strange pain that began around 30 weeks gestation. It first happened after a long day at a family member's wedding. We did a lot of walking and I wore dress shoes the entire day. So I chalked it up to that.

Chalked what up to that? I know you're wondering. So I'll just say it.

The Dreaded CROTCH PAIN.

That's right. Your eyes haven't deceived you. That up there is the word "crotch." You know, that place where your legs come together? Yes, that's the one.

The next day, I woke up with an excruciating soreness in my nether regions. It was like nothing I'd ever felt. I couldn't separate my legs without screaming. It felt as if someone had kicked me down there 100 times while wearing a steel-toe boot. Or maybe as if I'd been beaten with a baseball bat. Or at best, like I had ridden a horse across the entire United States the night before.

Despite the pain, I could still Google. I waddled over to the computer and after only a few moments, this is what I found:

Pubic bone pain in pregnancy is also know as Pubic Symphysis Diastasis. This is where, usually in later pregnancy, the hormone relaxin causes the pelvis, particularly at the pubic bone, to loosen. In general, this is a good thing as it makes birth easier for mom and baby. However, sometimes the separation is exaggerated and can become quite painful for the mother at the end of pregnancy or in the early postpartum period.

Followed by this lovely illustration:

So, that's what I had. An "exaggerated" separation of my pelvis! At least I was going to live.

This pubic symphysis diastasis made the end of my pregnancy especially difficult. Everything -- putting on pants, rolling over in bed, using stairs -- hurt like mad. If you wonder why pregnant women waddle, now you know.

And then. Well, you know how when you're about 38 weeks along and you're at your wit's end, trying anything and everything to get the baby to come out, the best advice anyone can give is to grab your husband and "get busy?" Well, imagine getting busy with a broken crotch! But I was so desperate to have my baby, I didn't care. Even though I feared my legs might actually separate and fly across the room during the course of the, um, activities.

Several moms I talked to lamented their frustrations about this little-discussed pregnancy phenomenon. But the ones who had multiple babies all agreed it started earlier with each subsequent pregnancy.

Oh. No.

And they were right. It's already made its debut this time around! Yes, my pelvis is now pre-programmed to separate when it senses a baby is in the vicinity. So, even though I am only 18 weeks along, MY CROTCH ALREADY HURTS AGAIN.

If you have had the privilege of bearing a child and didn't experience this horrific pain, consider yourself blessed. And if you haven't had a baby and this is the first time you're hearing about The Dreaded Crotch Pain, I apologize in advance. Maybe you will escape it. Maybe you won't. But if you don't, just know I feel your pain. Quite literally.

Bring on the ice packs and donuts (the little cushion ones upon which you place your buttocks. But the edible kind are welcome, too). We've still got 22 weeks left of this madness! But something tells me it'll all be worth it in the end. And it sure beats the headaches and nausea!