But anyway, I was eating some (read: too many) Tootsie Rolls last night when the thought occurred to me that Tootsie Rolls are kind of ... gross. They don't have much flavor and the consistency is a little plasticky. According to Wikipedia, they contain "sugar, corn syrup, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, condensed milk, artificial cocoa flavoring, whey, soy lecithin, orange extract, and natural and artificial flavors." The first three ingredients are HUGE nutritional no-no's (partially hydrogenated ANYTHING = trans fat) and then, what? Artifical cocoa flavoring? You mean, FAKE CHOCOLATE. Don't church it up. Also, I own some soy lecithin and it's just another type of oil. And orange extract?! Who knew?
But, I'm ashamed (or maybe not so ashamed) to admit that I ate roughly 20 Midgees in one sitting. Because they are so good, I can't stop eating them no matter how bad for you they really are.
Here's my list of "Gross Things Jenna Can't Resist Eating." Feel free to make your own and link up.
1. Hot n' Spicy McChicken. I have a love/hate relationship with the $1 Hot 'n Spicy from Mickey D's. Remember how this sandwich put me into labor with Smush? Yep, my Hot 'n Spicy habit started long before that. I used to eat them bi-weekly in high school -- I was obsessed. But they are extremely spicy and usually give me heartburn. And when you think about what they really are, it's kind of disgusting: two dry, basic buns; a thin, "chicken" patty coated in the spiciest breading known to mankind; limp, lifeless shredded lettuce and heaps of mayonnaise. Yumm-o!
But for some reason, whenever I go to McDonald's, I can't bring myself to order anything else. Even if I have to inhale it in three bites to avoid massive burns on my esophagus.
2. Puffy Cheetos. In college, I worked at the BYU Bindery. Which is exactly what it sounds like -- a place where books are bound. It's this noisy warehouse located at the north end of campus. It wasn't exactly slave labor but it was pretty close, and I almost lost my finger to a conveyor belt one day. But I needed a job so I took it.
Anyway, at the bindery we had this huge tarp-bag with a tube on the end hanging from above and it was filllllllled with biodegradable packing peanuts.We'd use it to pack boxes of books and things for safe travel. One day, one of my co-workers decided that our packing peanuts looked mysteriously like puffy Cheetos, minus the orange cheesy dust. So as an experiment, he took a bite of one as the rest of us looked on in awe. His conclusion: "Yep, puffy Cheetos minus the orange cheesy dust."
I rest my case.
3. Twizzlers. Is it just me, or are Twizzlers basically wax mixed with a little sugar and flavoring? I decided to do a little investigating and found that the Twizzlers Web site is (perhaps intentionally) cryptic about the ingredients of their product. See for yourself. Guess I'll have to buy a package to find out! Not that I'll mind.
4. Conversation Hearts. Every year around the middle of January, I start buying those Brach's Conversation Hearts to put in a candy dish on the kitchen counter, and EVERY YEAR I end up having to buy about 10 bags to keep the dish replenished because I am a Conversation Heart addict. It's true. What are they, packed sugar in the form of a heart? Yet I cannot stop eating them. But why??? They're not even that good and they wind up stale within a day of opening the bag.
They're so festive, though. I can't help it.
5. Canned cheese. I'm beyond embarrassed to admit this, but one time I bought a can of Easy Cheese and I ate the WHOLE THING that night. In one sitting. I don't even think I used crackers -- I just stuck the spout in my mouth and chugged it down! WHY?! It's an aerosol can of CHEESE-LIKE substance. And it's "easy." Why couldn't I have indulged in a cheese that's willing to play hard to get?
Take a look at the nutrition facts. "Cheese" is listed as the second-to-last ingredient. Which means, if my memory of 4th grade science serves me right, there isn't a whole lot of actual cheese in there. Also: one can contains 630 calories.
What are the nasty foods you can't help eating?