Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Baby naming challenge!
Here's a revelation for you: naming babies is HARD.
On our way to school this morning, the kids and I decided it would be easiest if babies were born wearing name tags. The sticker kind that say "Hello! My name is ..." with their chosen name written in Sharpie beneath. No guesswork involved.
At this point, I would also readily accept a heavenly visitation instructing me on what to name my child. In other words, Angel Gabriel? Can we make an appointment for a private naming consultation? I'll even bake cookies for the occasion. Just tell me WHAT TO NAME THIS BABY. Please?
I know a lot of women have their kids' names picked out by the time they themselves graduate from high school. Once upon a time, I too created a juvenile list of that nature, probably on lined notebook paper in glittery gel pen ink. Today, those names have either already been used by close family members or my tastes have changed to the point where I don't care for them anymore. Or Dill doesn't like them.
(I did get to use one of the names on my teenage list -- Carson. Big fan of TRL back in the day and I had a little crush on Carson Daly. Plus, I just liked the name.)
So here we are. I'm 26 weeks pregnant, the holidays are over so we don't have the excuse of being too busy anymore, and we still have no name for Baby #3. We have some ideas, ones that I won't list explicitly because it's hard enough trying to coordinate two people's naming tastes let alone 1,402,741 (that's how many people read my blog, I'm sure). But every time we fall in love with a name, we soon realize it won't work or it sounds funny or it might give our kid some kind of complex, so we abandon it.
And let's be honest here -- we are picky. Both Dill and I. At least we agree on our outrageous, unreasonable naming criteria, though. Ours is as follows:
-We like names that are spelled traditionally. Not too popular but not too unique, either. We consult with this Web site to make sure we're clear of the top 50 names of the most recent year.
-Needs to be at least two syllables for the purpose of rhythm. Our last name is a single syllable and we feel the single-single combination is too abrupt and not poetic enough for us.
-Can't end in an F or a V sound because the first and last name will run together.
-Can't be an adjective or color because our last name is Foote. For instance, Violet is a darling name, but Violet Foote won't work because hello, that burns a strangely distinct image into your mind when you hear it. No one needs to associate our little girl with a purple (and probably hairy) foot. That's just uncomfortable for everyone.
-We don't like gender neutral names, either. Nothing personal. (Never ask Dill how he feels about the female Dylans of the world.) But if you can argue it's officially be co-opted by the girls, then we'll consider it.
-It also needs to go with Jean, which will be her middle name. It's the name of Dill's deceased mother, so it's very special to us. Non-negotiable.
Oddly enough, though, we're not picky about the first name's meaning. Audrey happens to mean "noble strength," which is luckily very beautiful, but we didn't choose it for that reason. Carson, on the other hand, means "son of the marsh dwellers." So take that for what it's worth. I mean, I don't want a name that means "harlot" or "horrible diarrhea" or something, but generally speaking, the meaning of a name doesn't matter much to me.
At this point, we feel like we have covered every female name in existence (pedigree charts, books, the entire World Wide Web) and they're all starting to blur together. But I know there are names out there we haven't considered and I need a fresh view of things. So -- I can't believe I'm doing this -- please make your suggestions! Here, in the comments. Whip out your gel-pen lined-paper list and give me your best.
And tell ya what -- if you happen to suggest THE perfect name AND we decide to use it for our baby, I'll give you a $25 Target gift card. Because seriously, that's how dire this situation is becoming.
Ready, set, GO!