Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Oh, hai.

It's been about 50 years since I last posted. Bapa (Dill's grandfather) gave me a hard time about it on Sunday. I wish I could say I've been super-busy, but in reality, I just haven't been feeling all that great. I know, "Someone call the waaaaaaahmbulance. Please." But hear me out.

Back in June, I had my IUD removed. Now, don't get too excited over there. I see you thinking "Oh, Jenna's WITH CHILD!" I'm not. I just didn't feel right about having an IUD anymore. I was experiencing irregular bleeding + teenage angst and decided after three years, it was time to ditch the thing. Well, imagine my surprise when the doctor tried to take it out and uttered the words, "It's embedded." Boy, was that a picnic or what. A couple tugs, yanks and agonizing minutes later, thar she was. Thank goodness its removal didn't warrant a more complicated procedure, but it sure left me second-guessing the birth control method I formerly praised to high heavens. And I also won a bonus prize of cramping, bleeding and the likes for a whole week after. Yey!

So, after that worked itself out and I started my juice-capades, I was feeling really great. High on life kinda great. Until I somehow injured my neck. In my sleep. Woke up and it was stuck to the side, the surrounding muscles rock-solid. This persisted for over two weeks. I was so desperate, I actually sewed myself a rice bag. Yes, the girl who doesn't sew fashioned a rice bag with her bare hands. I don't even own a sewing machine; I busted out the needle and thread and pioneer-womaned the crap out of an old BYU T-shirt. It's actually quite amazing and I've only had to repair it once since I created it.

But what really saved me during this crazy neck ordeal was this:




Doctor Hoy's: the stuff dreams are made of.

How do I describe Doctor Hoy's pain relief gel? I don't want to compare it to IcyHot because it works about a billion times better and doesn't stink. But I guess it's similar in that you rub it on your sore muscles and joints when they hurt. And it feels soooooooo niiiiiiiiice. It's also super-potent and made of the finest ingredients -- a little goes a long way. So don't cry when you see the price because it is worth every penny. (If you're local, you can skip the shipping and buy it at The Book Rack on Signal Butte and US-60.)

By the way, I'm not getting paid to say any of this. But the woman who owns this company is a personal friend of mine, and she's a total rock star. I'm happy to vouch for her product of miracles.

Ok. Where were we in Jenna's Ultimate Sob Story? Ah, yes. After my neck decided to start functioning normally again: ALLERGIES. I should have known after all that rain rolled in that plants would finally bloom again and my lymph nodes would freak out. I take Zyrtec for my allergies, which also knocks me out cold. So cold that I slept until almost 11 in the morning on Sunday and then felt like a brain-deprived zombie the rest of the day. Though it paralyzes me with fatigue, Zyrtec alleviates all of my allergy symptoms except one: I ALWAYS go hoarse. No matter how hard I try not to speak. I've accepted the fact that 3-4 times a year, I will sound like Gollum. It's my fate.

As you may have guessed, this sob story stops right now, with me in yoga pants and my comfy old Jimmy Eat World shirt, feeling a bit like death warmed over, taking the time to update you (Bapa) on the pitiful current happenings of Mom, the Intern. I hope it was worth your time.

Probably not.

19 comments:

  1. Oh man. IUD. When I got mine out after just having it in for a year and a half it was stuck too. The worst!! I don't want to go through that again. I hope you feel better and unzombieish. ill have yo check out that store. :)

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  2. I was wondering how pain relief gel ended up at the Book Rack :) now it makes sense! Hope you feel up to par soon!

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  3. Just one more reason I won't give into the suggestions to get an IUD! They freak me out too much!

    I missed your blog, glad you came back FINALLY :P

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  4. JENNA! You used an old BYU t-shirt to make the rice bag? Don't tell Dad! I hope you feel better soon! P.S. I do need to try some of that relief gel you've been talking about. Maybe MY neck will finally have some relief!

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  5. So was Bapa expecting to hear about your uterus? Just curious. Bapa must realize you're a modern woman prone to explaining your internal happenings. Way to be evolved, Bapa. I'm trying that Dr. Hoy stuff, like, tomorrow. It sounds amazing. And I only like amazing things in my life. Which is why I read your blog.
    The End.

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  6. p.s. I noticed that, despite your neck disability, your bed is made. What the what? Who are you, Flylady?

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    1. HA! I think Bapa got more than he bargained for. As for my bed being made, the neck injury was last week, and that picture was taken today. Also, my mom reads my blog. In fact, her comment is above yours. Haha.

      By the way, you are too nice, Anna. :)Thumbs up to you!

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  7. My doctor has been pushing me to put in an iud. I keep fighting him on it. Your story makes me think he is wrong!

    Hope you feel better. Neck pain sucks!

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  8. Jenna--i have, in fact missed your face. or i guess its your words, since we've never actually met in person. whatev.
    I'm glad you are feeling better...but what the freak?! (an exclaimation to your IUD issue).
    No gracias!

    Also, i OWN a sewing machine...and if I ever had cause to use it--i'd have no idea what to do. Go needle and thread!

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  9. I took my IUD out and am so glad I did...ugh! I hope you start feeling better!

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  10. This happened to me too, only it actually completely went through my uterine wall. Had to have surgery to remove it. I guess I didn't learn my lesson the first time because I got another one because I knew what too look for. Now my problem I'm having is that it's been over a year for us trying. I really hope it's just a fluke and not the IUD. I'm glad you got it looked at before it did what it did to me.

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    1. Oh Elise that's terrible! I did some research and found there's actually a class action lawsuit going on for IUD perforation. Mine didn't perforate so I'm not eligible to participate, but you certainly would be. Let me know if you want more info.

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    2. Would it be a lawsuit against my OB's or the people that make IUD's in general? It's one of the risks of getting one but they make it seem like it doesn't happen at all but after reading your story and others that commented makes it seem like it happens more often then not. Scary! Yeah I will like more info on it and see what comes of it.

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    3. It would be against the makers of Mirena.

      This is the site I found when looking into it. They were great and called me back the next day. I did not qualify since mine didn't perforate, but you might.

      http://www.mirenaperforationlawsuit.com/mirena-perforation-lawsuit/

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    4. Thanks for the info. Since it's a lawsuit against the manufacture I looked into it and I guess I qualify because they're sending me a packet to fill out to get things started. It would be nice to get the funds recovered from my surgery. It wasn't cheap!

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  11. Poor girl! You've had a go of it lately. Need some comfort food? Or meet up for an evening walk? I swear it's not too hot at 7:30. Well, maybe a little, but we still walk.

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    1. Yes! I'd love to go for a walk. As soon as I get my allergies under control ... should be feeling better in the next few days.

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  12. Not fun!! My sister just found out that she is pregnant even though she had an IUD. She also ended up needing surgery to have it removed! Crazy! Hope you're feeling better.

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    1. WOW! That's insane! Though, that's not the first time I've heard of something like that happening.

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