The freedom of not knowing.

I grew up saying, "I know,"
And I said it so many times,
I started to believe it was true.

Then, the knowledge demanded
That I never question
Never wonder
Never see things differently.

If I did, I was unworthy;
If I didn't, I was good.
That's how it was.

Knowledge demanded that I give everything
And I did!
Oh, I did.
Until I had nothing left to give.
Just a hundred questions,
A broken body,
A broken mind,
And a broken heart.

Then one day,
In my shattered state, I decided:
Maybe
I don't need to know,
I don't need to worry.

If there's a God --
The parent of my spirit --
He, she, or it loves me,
And they won't care
Whether I know or not.

I exhaled.

I started to heal.
The pieces  of my mind, body, and heart are coming back together,
Finally.

I am loved
I am safe
I am whole
I am free

And I don't need to know anything.