Potpourri.

That's what this post is going to be, a potpourri of subjects. Because I have been such a bad blogger lately and now I have to play catch up.

I hope you're not mad at me. But hopefully, you'll have some sympathy for me after you finish this post.

First off: Baby Guy aka The Smush is now 3 months old. That's a quarter of a year, folks. Whaaa? I swear, I was just writing his birth story yesterday.

Well, here is his 3-month chair picture:

Such a big boy! A friend of mine pointed out the fat roll on his ankle. Mmm, butterball. Yummy little ball of fat and chubs. I could just eat him sometimes, he's so cute.

Here's a picture of the three of us, being oh so silly/drooly:

In other news, I went to the doctor at the end of June. The Ladyparts Doctor. Because, well, it's been 3 months since my VBAC and let's just say I'm still a mess downstairs. I was having all sorts of issues, the biggest one being that Mr. Dill and I were unable to, well, you know. "Special" hug, knock boots, whatever you want to call it. Excruciating pain and immense pressure. Not fun or normal at all. Furthermore, I could not, for the life of me, go poop without the help of a stool softener. Yes, I realize this is all very TMI and probably scarring your retinas as we speak. But, I'm not going to sugarcoat things for y'all. This is the reality of vaginal childbirth. It can really eff you up.

So, I took matters into my own hands went to see Dr. Ladyparts. He did a VERY thorough examination (read "VERY" with bulging eyes, as if someone is trying to scratch your brain through your hoo-hah) and determined that I have a few problems. One: Waaaay too much scar tissue up in thurr, which means it ain't stretchin' at all during "wonka wonka" and that's the number one reason it hurts so much. Two: Uterine and bladder prolapse. Which effectively means my bladder and my uterus are falling out. Yup! Imagine that.

(Wow, if I had any male readers before, they're all gone now. Guaranteed.)

As for not being able to go #2 ... Three: My perineum (you know, that tissue between hole #1 and hole #2) is still really weak and not providing any resistance to my recto-anal area. So, my body's not getting the message that it's time to "go."

Dr. Ladyparts prescribed me an estrogen cream to hopefully soften that scar tissue. He said if it doesn't work, he can perform a surgery "in the office, using local anesthesia." Well, I nearly passed out at the very mentioning of such a procedure, because that means only one thing: Needle in the Hoo-Hah. And, no thank you; I'd rather be celibate. So I'm using the cream and it's helping. But the real problem is the prolapse. See, those organs are kind of crowding into the basement a little bit and not leaving much room for Kroll the Warrior King. So when he tries to force his way in there, yeah. Ow.

Anyway.

Dr. Ladyparts said it will just take time for those organs to migrate back to their original positions. That's what happens when an 8+ pound baby is sucked out of you in 15 minutes flat. The bladder and uterus are basically forced to come along for the ride. It's physics, plain and simple.

I'm starting to regret my VBAC a whole lot. This is probably the saddest sentence I've ever typed. I did want the experience of pushing my baby out, and I got it. Thank heavens I had an epidural because the actual delivery was pleasant and memorable, whereas without it? I don't even want to think about how that would have transpired. But the recovery has been nothing short of hell, let me tell ya. As soon as that epidural wore off, I felt like I'd literally been ripped in two. And three months later, I'm still having issues. I'm really trying not to be bitter about it, but what can I say? I chose the VBAC to avoid health complications, not to acquire them. If I had known it was going to be this way, I would have opted for the repeat C-section in a heartbeat.

As for being "in a funk," Dr. Ladyparts said the estrogen would probably help with that. And I think it has. I've been feeling much better. Here's a secret (not-so-secret anymore): I've struggled off and on with depression for years. I had it before I was pregnant with Bubby, after I had Bubby, and now. Just part of my life, I guess. Some people have diabetes, some people have lupus, and some have depression. And it's OK, because medications help immensely, and there are additional ways to manage it (nutritious diet, exercise, counseling, etc.). I wish no one had to suffer from depression, but it exists and we just have to live with it.

Well, I just told waaaaay too much about my life to the Internet. Oh well. If I am able to help someone by putting my story out there, I'll do it. Vaginal delivery people: If you can't be intimate with your spouse without wanting to gouge his eyeballs out with your fingernails, go see your gynecologist. It's likely fixable. And if you suspect some of your organs have flown south for the winter, go to the doctor. He or she will at least confirm your suspicions and maybe provide you with some treatment options.

A friend of mine had a baby last week and posted on her Twitter account, "Childbirth was a piece of cake." You know, I'm glad it was good for someone. Because for me, it was also a piece of cake, but it was more like 30-year-old fruitcake.

P.S.~ If you're wondering why I avoided the V word throughout my post, it's because I don't want creepos coming to my blog looking for nasty stuff.

POST EDIT: I had to go back and state some stuff after I read through the comments.

Please, if you are considering a VBAC, keep considering! There are a lot of health benefits to having a VBAC over a repeat C-section. My VBAC was not typical. I had a large, posterior baby and a lot of bleeding (placental abruption) which meant he had to be evicted and QUICK. Had I been able to push over a longer time period, I don't think I would have had quite so many complications. There are a lot of problems associated with vacuum-assisted births. So please, if you're in the possible VBAC camp, keep reading up on VBAC's vs. RCS before you make your decision. I had a bad experience, but I also had an atypical experience.