Monday, August 22, 2011

Whatcha lookin' for? Round 2!

Remember the last time I let you peek behind the curtain to see what people are searching for to land on my blog? It was mildly funny, weird and even creepy. So let's not waste a good thing! Here we go again:

Weird Search Terms that People Put into The Google to Get Here

1. Meg Ryan hair. I did have it, once upon a time. Remember?



Do people really WANT to have Meg Ryan's hair of 1995? Or are they just making fun of me? Probably the latter.

2. Even a caveman can do it. Yes, this the catch phrase comes from a series of funny and somewhat scary GEICO commercials made a few years ago (I much prefer the gecko or the googly-eyed stacks of dolla dolla billz). I once mentioned it in passing here. And I still bring it up from time to time. It's our little inside joke, isn't it?

But who in their right mind would willingly seek out pictures of that scary caveman dude on Teh Internetz? Someone with a prehistoric fetish? A terrorist's torture victim? Any other situation seems implausible.

3. Heather Bopra. Gesundheit.

Oh, you were looking for someone named Heather Bopra!

Never heard of her. I know not the woman. Sorry, wrong number. But, you should stick around if you like Meg Ryan hair and cavemen!

4. Huge baby belly. Thanks. Thanks a lot. I mean, I know how gargantuan I get when I'm in the final months of incubating human beings. But let me just say, you'd be huge too if you had an 8-pound person inside you.

5. Lose virginity blonde. Well yes, I am blonde and I have indeed lost my virginity (I have the kids to prove it). I remember it well. It was December 30, 2005. Somehow, my mother-in-law pulled some strings and got us THE PRESIDENTIAL SUITE at the nearest Hilton for our wedding night ...

... oh, wait. This is a family blog. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm gonna have to put the brakes on right there. Yanno, kids might be Googling about cavemen.

Question of the Day: What weird things are people searching for to get to YOUR blog?

Oh and let's not forget ... it's my mom's 50th BIRTHDAY today! Happy birthday, Best Mom Ever!


I know, she looks amazing. And check it out -- she's married to Donny Osmond!

11 comments:

  1. my favorites of the week:

    "i can't find jeans that fit me"

    "i'm the little brown girl"

    "got pregnant using spermacide"

    and a few hundred involving terms about casts, broken legs and the word "gimp"...

    endless entertainment over here.

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  2. Oh lmbo at #5. That is just too much. I always wonder what it would of been like to *ahem* for the first time in a hotel room :) Glad you got an upgrade!

    I have always thought that Meg Ryan is darling. And so are you, so who cares if it was from 1995.

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  3. I don't know how to find that out...is it in Stats?

    Lol about Donny Osmond. Before I saw your caption I was thinking, wow he looks like Donny Osmond. hahaha

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  4. I have a lot of "oops" searches for some reason. I think yours are far more entertaining!

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  5. How do you find this out? I'd be curious to see for my own blog!

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  6. "Strap on tutorial"

    I bet they were super disappointed.

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  7. I get a lot of people that come for Lego cake tutorial- but when I googled it, I was on about page four and hadn't found my blog yet and said forget it- makes me wonder how so many come

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  8. You have GOT to tell me how to do this Jenna. Hilarious! Also, side note...wow. I have never noticed it before but your dad does look like Donny Osmond. Awesome.

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  9. Oh wow, those are pretty funny! I rarely get interesting search terms. Usually it's just boring stuff (like people searching for a recipe). I love reading the fun ones on other people's blogs though! :)

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  10. @Elle I guess that means Uncle Brett does, too. Haha. I'll be sure to post a little how-to about seeing your search terms tomorrow!

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  11. Can't wait for the "how to"! I think these are hilarious!

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